NOCD: Is My OCD a Curse?

Read this piece published by NOCD below or at https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-my-ocd-a-curse

It can’t help but feel like a curse, right? I mean, having thoughts involuntarily imposed on you that are the utter moral opposite of who you are at the core. Thoughts that seemingly plague every task, no matter how big or small, giving in to any and all irrational compulsions. It might as well be like a bad addiction. After all, anything that takes you away from the things you care about and value most is detrimental.

Growing up, I never went to the movies because I knew sitting still in a dark room for hours would do nothing but brew bad thoughts.

I would never have sleepovers in case I needed to ask my mom for reassurance about the falsehood of my obsessions.

I would never play the video games I wanted with friends because the action might give in to intrusive thoughts.

So, yes, I’m with you. If OCD had a physical body, I would like to kick its ass.

But, I know there is a 'but.' Is it the right way to view Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, as some forever curse?

When viewing something as a curse, we belittle our ability and will to overcome it. We cast it away and archetypically label it as an unfortunate, forever problem. We deprive ourselves of all we can be if we faced and overcame its binds.

I am not here to undermine the gravity this illness poses on people's lives, nor am I here to paint it as some gift. Yet, sometimes it's important to acknowledge that when you think you have been buried, you have actually been planted.

A Philosophical Approach

Free will is a cornerstone argument in philosophy. The basic understanding is that we, as human beings, have the ability to make decisions and choices based on our own intuitions and desires, without the presumptuous influence of external forces.

That being said, free will can only exist as a choice if the realms of our subjective reality are filled with ultimate choices of something good and something evil. It gives us something to wrestle with. Without having these things we see as evil or forms of suffering, the benevolence present in our lives would mean nothing. The best possible world is one where evil is presented but rejected for a greater good. The decision determines our character.

So how does this relate to OCD? Well, by that logic, it's a good thing that your OCD exists. The option that presents itself as giving into your obsessions through a compulsive action presents itself as something “bad.” Yet, if you choose to resist the bad and resist giving in to your compulsion, then you’re engaging in a form of benevolence, and from resisting, you ultimately become stronger. This is the entire claim that Exposure Response Therapy makes: that by confronting what is causing anxiety, you become braver.

Changing Perspectives

It’s proven that simply changing the lens through which we view the world—changing the narrative—provides a stress relief like no other. So how does one do that—change their perspective permanently?

In this fundamental perspective change; you begin to teach your brain not that OCD is a good thing, but that your ability to not succumb to its grip inevitably makes you a greater version of yourself. Just like how someone who lifts weights begins to welcome the endurance of pain and struggle in their workouts, because they know they will become stronger.

I don't want this idea to be mistaken for one that trivializes OCD, quite the opposite. By giving the devil its due, you can fully appreciate the hero that overcomes it.

This isn't something that you should expect to happen overnight. Changing your perspective on how you see things is the same as changing your identity. Only two things can issue such change:

1. Time and repetition, the more you engage in something, the more it becomes second nature. Think about the scientific method, for example; its whole basis is that if something repeats itself enough times through a multitude of variables, it must be true.

2. Trauma, when I say trauma, I don't mean it has to be something bad, but it just has to hold weight; it has to be heavy enough to make some sort of impact on you. When these life-altering events, whether good or bad, come into our lives, they tend to expedite the identity-shifting process.

By changing our perspectives, we change the narrative story we impose on our lives. We have the ability to be whoever or whatever we want, depending on how we look at the world. There is a passage from the book The Alchemist that I would love to share that encapsulates this better than I ever could:

The Alchemist

“Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,’ said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. ‘As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.’ The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was. ‘Well,’ asked the wise man, ‘did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?

Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,’ said the wise man. ‘You cannot trust a man if you don’t know his house.’ Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?’ asked the wise man. Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone. ‘Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,’ said the wisest of wise men. ‘The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.”

All in all, as difficult as it might be, never victimize yourself to your OCD. By doing so, you give it exactly what it wants. Instead, recognize its grip, and know that by triumphing over it, you ultimately grow.